We Can Find True Freedom by Getting Over Ourselves
Let’s become people who find our joy when we rejoice with others when they have a victory.
It’s so easy to celebrate others when your life also feels worth celebrating.
I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about the times when your life is full of unfulfilled longings and you feel like everyone else has what you want. Yeah, it’s petty. And sometimes I can be petty. I pout when I don’t get what I want and then get mad when others do. Maybe you know the feeling.
Let me give you an example. A few years back, my high school soccer team went into overtime against our biggest rival. My coach sent me in with only a few minutes remaining, and I scored the winning goal just right outside the 18-box line. It felt like a dream.
Fast forward to the next week. The coach benched me for all but 10 minutes of the game. My team won but I stormed off the field because I had made it all about me. Yes, I cared about the team, but I wanted us to win with me on the field, not on the sidelines.
I’m often challenged by these types of feelings. I know others are, too. Maybe you didn’t get into the college that was your first choice. Maybe someone else got a great summer internship and you don’t even know what to do with your life. Maybe it’s relationships. I had a friend text me yesterday, mourning that she was still single and had been so patient in waiting for the right one to come along, while so many friends around her were so happy with their boyfriends.
This type of anger and bitterness and disappointment comes up all the time. At first, I’m quick to justify my feelings of envy, jealousy, comparison and disappointments. I tell God that I’ve been faithful and obedient so why don’t I get what I want?
We know these feelings are not right. So how are we supposed to celebrate the victories in the lives of others when we’re not feeling it ourselves? Thankfully, God has given us some principles we can follow.
Principle one: God doesn’t give us the option of pouting over ourselves.
The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 12, starting with verse 15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” This is a command, not a suggestion. God doesn’t give us the option of putting ourselves and our feelings first.
This type of command is extremely counterculture.
From a young age, we are taught the very basics of what it looks like to succeed. In order to so, it takes putting yourself in the best position to get the best opportunities. Nowhere in that “guide-to-success” lesson is there a part about putting others first. Yet, “success” is within the hands of the Almighty. By letting go, redirecting the focus on those around me, and faithfully pursuing this command, I am living in the fullness of who He called me to be—not because I put my accomplishments on a pedestal, but because I chose to highlight my peers accomplishments before my own.
Principle two: Pride is a prison. Humility is freedom.
Paul continues in Romans 12 by saying, “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”
Paul is saying we need to be humble to fully join in with people who are rejoicing or mourning.
Merriam Webster defines humility as “freedom from pride or arrogance.” It’s so interesting to think of humility in terms of the freedom that it brings. It may gratify our flesh and our ego to justify our pain and our defeat, but we remain in bondage by doing so. That’s not how God wants us to live. Time and time again, the Lord grants us freedom.
No matter how left out you may be feeling when you find yourself comparing your life and circumstances to those around you, God has promised to never leave nor forsake you. Our deepest longings will be fulfilled in due time.
Principle three: Christ is all that matters.
Paul also writes in Philippians 3, “ Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” Paul highlights the true victory found in disregarding things the world considers so important. Our true victory is knowing Jesus. Those other things we hold in high regard – our “greatness” and “success” and the happiness associated with getting what we want –are meaningless in comparison.
Principle four: It has to be God’s love flowing through us.
Let’s become people who find our joy when we rejoice with others when they have a victory. Let’s make sure our hearts are expectant of the Lord’s power, not our own. Let us eliminate success out of the equation of our happiness and welcome God’s love and His plan and purposes for our lives. His indescribable love flows through us, allowing us to stand up and rejoice with those who are rejoicing and sit down and mourn with those who are mourning. The more and more we accept this posture of putting others before ourselves, there will be a greater joy found than any success will ever bring.
We are called to more.
I’d love to hear what you think in the comments below or by sending me an email at Katherine.stanley@comcast.net. Let’s be an encouragement to each other.